Looking at the things that hurt you and still haunt you is not easy but it is worth it. Lot’s of people suffer from lack of self-love. The hurt and pain block this self-love but once you look at it and see how little power it can have you can then fall in love with yourself. If you see someone who is hell bent on destroying themselves, family, and family it is most likely to them better than facing that pain they hide away years ago. Understand it’s not about you, it’s about them, have compassion at a distance and just see them as loved whole, and complete. God will do the rest.